Negotiating Religion, State, and Custom: Islamic Values in the Malay Merisik Pre-marital Tradition at Medan City
Abstract
The practice of merisik remains alive and continues to be preserved in the Malay customs of Medan, even though there are no explicit regulations regarding the merisik tradition in either Islamic law or state law. This article will discuss how the diversity of traditional wedding practices in Indonesia, specifically the merisik tradition among the Malay community in Medan, is negotiated within a multicultural context from the perspectives of Islam and customary law. The objective of this study is to identify Islamic values within the merisik tradition and to analyze their relevance to Malay customary law. This research employs a qualitative approach based on field research, utilizing data collection techniques such as interviews and observation, supported by secondary data from literature and Google Scholar journals over the past decade, which are analyzed using a descriptive-normative approach. The results of this study indicate that the merisik tradition reflects religious, personal, and social values that are closely linked to both Malay customary law and Islamic values. The main argument of this article centers on the negotiation between the merisik tradition and Islamic law and Malay customary law. This tradition has historical ties to the process of Islamization among the Malay community in Medan and embodies Islamic values, namely, religious (kafā’ah), personal (trustworthiness and honesty), and social (consultation, etiquette in visiting and hosting), which align with Malay customary law in fostering family harmony and social sustainability.
Praktik mersik tetap hidup dan terus dilestarikan dalam adat Melayu Kota Medan meskipun tidak ada regulasi eksplisit mengenai tradisi merisik dalam hukum Islam maupun hukum negara. Artikel ini akan mendiskusikan bagaimana praktik keragaman adat pernikahan di Indonesia, khususnya tradisi merisik dalam masyarakat Melayu Kota Medan, yang dinegosiasikan dengan kondisi multikultural dari perspektif Islam dan hukum adat. Tujuan penelitian ini adalah mengidentifikasi nilai-nilai Islam dalam tradisi merisik serta menganalisis relevansinya dengan hukum adat Melayu. Riset ini menggunakan pendekatan kualitatif berbasis field research dengan teknik pengumpulan data melalui wawancara dan observasi, didukung data sekunder dari literatur dan jurnal Google Scholar dalam kurun waktu satu dekade terakhir, yang dianalisis secara deskriptif-normatif. Hasil penelitian ini menunjukkan bahwa tradisi merisik mencerminkan nilai-nilai keagamaan, pribadi, dan sosial yang erat kaitannya dengan hukum adat Melayu maupun nilai-nilai Islam. Argumentasi utama artikel ini terletak pada negosiasi tradisi merisik dengan hukum islam dan adat Melayu. Tradisi ini memiliki keterkaitan historis dengan proses Islamisasi masyarakat Melayu di Medan serta mengandung nilai Islam, yaitu religius (kafā’ah), kepribadian (amanah dan kejujuran), serta sosial (musyawarah, adab bertamu dan menjamu), yang selaras dengan hukum adat Melayu dalam membangun harmonisasi keluarga dan keberlanjutan sosial.
Full text article
References
Ahmad Muzakki, and Himami Hafshawati. “Kedudukan dan Standarisasi Kafaah Dalam Pernikahan Perspektif Ulama Madzhab Empat.” Asy-Syari’ah : Jurnal Hukum Islam 7, no. 1 (2021): 19–38. https://doi.org/10.55210/assyariah.v7i1.429.
Ahmad Zarkasih. “Menakar Kufu’ Dalam Memilih Jodoh,” 2018.
Ainiyah, Qurrotul. “Ta’aruf Lokalitas: Integrasi Hukum Islam dan Hukum Adat Terhadap Fenomena Gredoan Di Suku Using Banyuwangi.” Jurnal Aqlam: Journal of Islam and Plurality 3, no. 2 (2018): 197–212. https://doi.org/http://dx.doi.org/10.30984/ajip.v3i2.721.
Al-‘Uṡaimin, Muhāmmad ibn Ṣāliḥ. Syarḥ Riyāḍ Al-Ṣaliḥīn(h. 156-158).
Al-Syaukānī, M. ‘Alī Ibn Muḥammad. Nail Al-Auṭār, Jilid 5, Mesir: Dār Al-Ḥadīṡ, 1993. (h. 245-246,. al-Riyāḍ: Dār al-Waṭn li al-Nasyr, 1426.
al-Bukhari, Abdullah Muhammad. Al-Jami’ Al-Sahih. Kairo: al-Matba’ah al-Salafiyah wa Maktabatuha, 1980.
Al-Bukhāri, Abdullāh Muḥammad. Ṣaḥīh Al-Bukhārī. Jilid 9. Damaskus: Dar Thauq al-Najah, 1989.
al-Fāiruzabādī. “Al-Qamus Al-Muhith,” 1560. Mesir: Dar al-Hadits al-Qahirah, 2008.
Al-Zuhailī, Wahbah. Tafsīr Al-Munīr: Fī Al-‘Aqīdah, Wa Al-Syarī’Ah, Wa Al-Manhaj. Jilid 6. Damaskus: Dār al-Fikr, 2009.
Alamsyah, Ahmad Gifari, Andhika Nugraha, Muhammad Reza, Hasan Sazali, and Maulana Andinata. “Budaya Melayu dan Pengaruh Islam Dalam Upacara Pernikahan Di Tanjung Balai,” 2022.
Amalia Haq, Amrullah Hayatudin, and Muhammad Yunus. “Tinjauan Hukum Adat Tentang Larangan Perkawinan Satu Suku Di Minangkabau Berdasarkan Kaidah Urf.” Bandung Conference Series: Islamic Family Law 4, no. 2 (2024): 169–76. https://doi.org/10.29313/bcsifl.v4i2.14903.
Amelia, R. “Ritual Perkawinan Adat dan Penalaran Hukum Islam: Analisis’ Urf Tentang Tradisi Nipa’bajikang Di Kalangan Komunitas Muslim Di Kabupaten Gowa.” Shautuna: Jurnal Ilmiah Mahasiswa Perbandingan. Accessed May 29, 2026. https://journal.uin-alauddin.ac.id/index.php/shautuna/article/view/56866.
Aminah, Siti, and Arif Sugitanata. “Genealogy and Reform of Islamic Family Law: Study of Islamic Marriage Law Products in Malaysia.” Journal of Islamic Law 3, no. 1 (2022): 94–110. https://doi.org/10.24260/jil.v3i1.556.
Amrullah, Abdulmalik Abdulkarim. Tafsir Al-Azhar. Jilid 5. Singapura: Pustaka Nasional PTE LTD, 1982.
Anshor, Ahmad Muhtadi, and Muhammad Ngizzul Muttaqin. “Pre-Marriage Course Based on Religious Moderation in Sadd Al- Zari’ah Perspective.” Samarah 6, no. 1 (2022): 74–97. https://doi.org/10.22373/sjhk.v6i1.9111.
Ashshubli, Muhammad. Islam dan Kebudayaan Melayu Nusantara (Menggali Hukum Dan Politik Melayu Dalam Islam. Jakarta: Dewan Da’wah Islamiyah Indonesia, 2018.
Chaq, Moh. Dliya’ul. “Telaah Ulang Hak Paksa dalam Perkawinan Islam Melalui Pendekatan Fiqh, Munâsib Al-‘Illah dan ‘Urf.” Tafáqquh: Jurnal Penelitian dan Kajian Keislaman 5, no. 2 (2018): 108–32. https://doi.org/10.52431/tafaqquh.v5i2.114.
Darussamin, Zikri, Rahman Rahman, and Imam Ghozali. “The Relationship Between Islam and Traditional Marriage of Siak Malay.” Justicia Islamica 17, no. 2 (November 27, 2020): 323–42. https://doi.org/10.21154/justicia.v17i2.2152.
Departemen Agama RI. Al-Qur’an dan Tafsirnya Jakarta : Departemen Agama RI. Jakarta: Percetakan Ikrar Mandiriabadi, 2011.
EFENDI, AK. “Urgensi Kesetaraan Konsep Kafa’ah Dalam Al-Quran (Analisis Tafsir Maqasidi).” Universitas Yudharta, 2023. https://repository.yudharta.ac.id/4619/.
Elysia, Eda, Emeraldy Chatra, and Ernita Arif. “Transformasi Makna Ta’aruf Di Era Digital.” Jurnal Komunikasi Global 10, no. 1 (2021): 24–53. https://doi.org/10.24815/jkg.v10i1.19717.
Fitri Yani, Elly Prihasti Wuriyani, and Rosmawaty Harahap. “Makna Simbolik Tradisi Berbalas Pantun Pada Perkawinan Adat Melayu Langkat.” Journal of Educational and Language Research 1, no. 10 (2022): 1495–1502.
Firano, Ismail. "Maqāṣid Az-Zuwāj Asy-Syarʿiyyah; Dirāsatun Li-Ahamm Maqāṣid Az-Zawāj Al-Aṣliyyah Wa At-Tabaʿiyyah." Jurnal Al-Dustur 7, no. 2 (2024): 170-197. https://doi.org/10.30863/aldustur.v7i2.7131
Hafidz, Muftisany. Pacaran vs Ta’aruf. Jakarta: Intera Paperless Publishing, 2021.
Hanbal, Ahmad ibn. Al-Musnad. Cairo: Dār al-Ḥadīṡ, n.d.
Karim, Arika Zulfitri, and Dinie Ratri Desiningrum. “Eksplorasi Pengalaman Penemuan Makna Cinta Dengan Interpretative Phenomenological Analysis Abstrak Berdasarkan Data Yang Dipaparkan Oleh Statistik Mitra Perempuan Women ’ s Crisis Center Tahun 2011 Menunjukkan Bahwa Teman Dekat Atau Pacar Merupakan Pelak” 4, no. 1 (2015): 43–48.
Kementerian Pendidikan dan Kebudayaan RI. Kamus Besar Bahasa Indonesia. Jakarta: Pusat Bahasa Departemen Pendidikan Nasional, 2008.
Luthfi, M, YA Fajrin, H Bachtiar “The Existence of’Urf in the Resolution of Marriage Disputes in Islamic Law: A Living Law Perspective.” Jurnal IUS Kajian Hukum dan Keadilan, (2024). https://doi.org/10.29303/v12i1.1356.
Majma’ al-Lughah al-’Arabiyyah. Al-Mu’jam Al-Waseet. Kairo: Maktabah al-Syuruq al-Dauliyyah, 2004.
Mulyani, Rini, Anwar Barus, and Iskandar Muda. “Local Wisdom of Merisik in Malay Langkat Society: Oral Tradition Study.” Budapest International Research and Critics Institute (BIRCI-Journal) 2, no. 4 (2018): 320. https://scholar.google.com/scholar?cluster=10331789533602747619&hl=en&oi=scholarr.
Mulyani, Rozanna, Asni Barus, and Iskandar Muda. “Local Wisdom of Merisik in Melayu Langkat Society: Oral Tradition Study.” International Journal of Civil Engineering and Technology 9, no. 11 (2018): 2714–20.
Muslim, Imam. Ṣahīḥ Muslim. Beirut: Dār Iḥyā’ Turāṡ, 2003.
Nasir, Muhamad. “Nilai Moralitas Dalam Sistem Syura (Suatu Model Sistem Politik Berdasarkan Hadis).” Al-Ulum 18, no. 1 (2018): 1–18. https://doi.org/10.30603/au.v18i1.310.
Nur, Muhammad, Kholis Al-Amin, Fattah Setiawan Santoso, Ibnu Murtadho, Salahuding Daman Wahuri, Uin Mataram Indonesia, Pengajian Tinggi, Islam Darul, and Maarif Patani Thailand. “Beyond Marxist Materialism: H.O.S Tjokroaminoto’s Islamic Socialism and Its Maqāṣidī Foundations.” Asy-Syir’ah: Jurnal Ilmu Syari’ah dan Hukum 58, no. 2 (December 30, 2024): 331–50. https://doi.org/10.14421/ajish.v58i2.1596.
Prayogo, Rozanna Mulyani, and Eddy Setia. “Turn Taking Patterns in Merisik Tradition of Malays Batubara Society Pola Alih Tutur Dalam Tradisi Merisik Pada Masyarakat Melayu Batubara.” Ljurnal Didaktika: Jurnal Bahasa dan Pembelajaran 15, no. 2 (2022): 177–93. https://doi.org/10.24036/ld.v15i2.109199.
Pusparini, Ari. Agar Ta’aruf Cinta Berbuah Pahala. Yogyakarta: Pro-U Media, 2013.
Putri, GF. “Tradisi Lisan Merisik Pada Upacara Perkawinan Adat Melayu Langkat,” 2021. https://repositori.usu.ac.id/handle/123456789/41013.
Rahayu, Sri ulfa. “Hadis Tentang Lapang Rezeki dan Panjang Umur Dengan Shilaturrahim” 7, no. 1 (2021): 90–102.
Riyanti, Ratna, Yuli Heriyanti, and Hafiz Sutrisno. “Marriage Actualization of the Malay Indigenous Peoples of Riau Province in the Legal Perspective.” Budapest International Research and Critics Institute-Journal (BIRCI-Journal) 5, no. 4 (October 6, 2022): 28904–12. https://doi.org/10.33258/BIRCI.V5I4.7043.
Saiin, Asrizal, M. Hasbi Umar, Badarussyamsi, Moh Zaidi Hajazi, and Maulana Yusuf. “The Domination Of Islamic Law In Customary Matrimonial Ceremonies: Islamic Values within the Malay Marriage Tradition in Kepulauan Riau.” Al-Ahwal: Jurnal Hukum Keluarga Islam 16, no. 2 (December 29, 2023): 320–41. https://doi.org/10.14421/ahwal.2023.16207.
Sari, Muspita, and Andi Aprilianti. “Fenomena Independent Woman Terhadap Keharmonisan Keluarga : Studi Kondisi Kurangnya Komunikasi Dalam Keluarga Karir Ganda.” AN-NISA 17, no. 2 (2024): 86–93. https://doi.org/10.30863/an.v17i2.7194.
Smith-Hefner, Nancy J. “The New Muslim Romance: Changing Patterns of Courtship and Marriage among Educated Javanese Youth.” Journal of Southeast Asian Studies 36, no. 3 (2005): 441–59. https://doi.org/10.1017/S002246340500024X.
Suhendra, Fredi. “Kisah Dramatisasi Saudara-Saudara Nabi Yusuf Dalam Al-Qur’an Dengan Pendekatan Teori Konspirasi.” Jurnal Semiotika Q: Kajian Ilmu Al-Qur’an dan Tafsir 1, no. 1 (2021): 37–48. https://doi.org/10.19109/jsq.v1i1.8986.
Sulaiman, Abu Daud. Sunan Abi Daud. Lebanon: Dār al-Kutub al-‘Ilmiyyah, n.d.
Sylvia, C, S Nursetiawati, A Dudung. “Perubahan Tradisi Upacara Adat Pernikahan Etnis Melayu Deli Di Desa Paluh Sibaji Kecamatan Pantai Labu Kabupaten Deli Serdang.” Jurnal Sosial Budaya 14, no. 1 (2022). https://doi.org/10.36312/jisip.v6i1.2898/http://ejournal.mandalanursa.org/index.php/JISIP/index.
Sylvia, Cici, S Nursetiawati, and Agus Dudung. “Perubahan Tradisi Upacara Adat Pernikahan Etnis Melayu Deli Di Desa Paluh Sibaji Kecamatan Pantai Labu Kabupaten Deli Serdang.” Jurnal Ilmu Sosial dan Pendidikan (JISIP) 6, no. 2 (2022): 3644–53. https://doi.org/10.36312/ jisip.v6i1.2898/.
Tihami, M.A., and Sohari Sahrani. Fikih Munakahat: Kajian Fikih Nikah Lengkap. Jakarta: Rajawali Press, 2009.
Usman, Syahruddin, Purniadi Putra, Universitas Islam Negeri Alauddin Makassar, and Universitas Sultan Muhammad Syafiuddin Sambas. “Islamic Educational Values Contained In The Wedding Tradition Of The Sambas Malay Community.” IJGIE Scientific Journal 6, no. 1 (2025). https://doi.org/https://doi.org/10.37567/ijgie.v6i1.3703.
Widiyanto, Hari. “Konsep Pernikahan Dalam Islam (Studi Fenomenologis Penundaanpernikahan Di Masa Pandemi).” Jurnal Islam Nusantara 04, no. 01 (2020): 103–10. https://doi.org/10.33852/jurnalin.v4i1.213.
Zuhaili, Wahbah. Tafsir Al-Munir: Aqidah, Syari’ah, Manhaj,. Gema Insani. JIlid 6. Jakarta: Gema Insani, 2013.
Zulbaidah, Harry Yuniardi, Januri, Nandang Najmudin, and Christoper Cason. “From ‘Traditional Urf to Digital Urf: Accommodating Young Generation’s Values on Husband-Wife Relations in the Framework of Ushūl Al-Fiqh.’” Al-Istinbath: Jurnal Hukum Islam 10, no. 2 (2025): 784–808. https://doi.org/10.29240/jhi.v10i2.14630.
Interviews
Bahri, Syamsul. 2023. "The Culture of Marriage Merisik Adat Melayu". Personal Interview Results: January 3, 2023. Online via Whatsapp.
Fadhly, Syahrial. 2023. "The Tradition of Merisik in the City of Medan". Personal interview results: January 4, 2023. Online via Whatsapp.
Fajri, M. Mathla’ul. 2023. "The Tradition of Merisik in the City of Medan". Personal interview results: January 4, 2023. Online via Whatsapp.
Hanif, Sarikhul. 2023. "The Culture of Marriage Merisik Adat Melayu". Personal Interview Results: January 3, 2023. Online via Whatsapp.
Jabbar, Syarbaini OK. 2023. "The Culture of Marriage Merisik Adat Melayu". Personal Interview Results: January 3, 2023. Online via Whatsapp.
Syahputra, Alvian. 2023. "The Culture of Marriage Merisik Adat Melayu". Personal Interview Results: January 3, 2023. Online via Whatsapp.
Authors
Copyright (c) 2026 Muhammad Hafizh, Muhammad Yusuf Rangkuti, Muhammad Rizal Khoirul Umam, Ali Baroroh Al Muflih, Rahmi Amalia, Muhammad Fauzan Ni’ami
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0 International License.
Authors who publish with this journal agree to the following terms:
- Authors retain copyright and grant the journal right of first publication with the work simultaneously licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0 International (CC BY-SA 4.0) that allows others to share the work with an acknowledgment of the work's authorship and initial publication in this journal.
- Authors are able to enter into separate, additional contractual arrangements for the non-exclusive distribution of the journal's published version of the work (e.g., post it to an institutional repository or publish it in a book), with an acknowledgment of its initial publication, i.e. this journal.
- Authors also grant any third party the right to use the article freely as long as its integrity is maintained and its original authors, citation details, and publisher are identified.